Marriage and Essentially

21 Marriage Understanding
2.1.1 According To Islamic Religion
2.1.2 According To Catholic Religion / Christian

Konsili Vatikan II in Gaudium Et Spes tells : " Marriage love specializeed from person which one to other person passed will; desire cordiality".

Marriage according to case book : 2 first story in holy book of agreement of stripper is " creation of World" and " Firdaus Story ". Both this stories discloses God plan with man. Story - this story uses having kinds - kinds of lambing and allusion language, difficult to understand without description. Genesis 2 : 18 - 25 proclaiming God plan, namely inter alia : " After man is created, God tell : not good if the man alone only. I will make benefactor for him(her, which good match for him(her". creator God recognizes in - depth with all its(the requirement, inter alia :

- Requirement to assist and assisted [by]
- Requirement to love and loved [by]
- Requirement to communicate with other person, which good match for his(its

Told that any animal sent to man so that called, mean : man in command to all animals. But power to all the animals also cannot fulfill man basic need. Then God gives woman to man, not for be mastered but so that loved as friend who commensurable.

Love that is requirement of man who main. Told that God forms woman from man rib. Which will be proclaimed with this phonetic symbol language is :

- Woman is special new creation, we can say woman taken away from near by man heart
- Incomplete man and not possibly peace, during woman is not in near by its(the heart
Sees the woman man ( man) cheers : " This is him(her, bone from my bone and fleshy from my flesh. He will be named woman because s(he taken away from man - man.
" Fleshy from my flesh" mean that direct woman is confessed individually which good match for man - man. Can be told :
- Who beats wife, ( that means she also) beats their/his self
- Who embraces wife, ( that means she also) makes happy their/his self
This thing also valids for wife to its(the husband.

Then writer KS concludes : Because that a man - man will leave father and its(the mother is and consists with its(the wife so that both becoming one fleshes. This means :
- God wants so that gives between husbands and wife exceeds love to their old fellow
- Marriage is tying gives is reciprocal concerning husband person - wife entirely

Not only " Flesh" is coalescing, but also mind, husband liver and wife. Husband and wife earns increasingly grows in coalescing to born mind.


By each other assisting; by each other giving and receives; by open each other; by each other paying attention; by each other forgiving in life one day - day.

In relationship that is in such a way hence coition becomes " Love Sign", namely the relation of their mind. In meaning of this is " Love" becomes " Core" marriage. Inferential that according to God plan : husband and wife is on an equal - commensurable. Love gives person to become association base of marriage life.

2.1.3 According To Religion Buddha

Marriage is mating between men - man and woman to be spouse. a man/woman is believing in Buddha can choose between lives is having family or not having family. If man/woman wish having family hence people can married with woman/man its(the choice. On the contrary if people choose not to have family, hence people can live in shrine as priest.

Before married required [by] ripe preparation. The side of man and woman ought to do is each other watcher to other party to know excess and lacking of together So if there is problem - problem emerging later the couple can overcome it.

Which must be paid attention by man to woman besides appearance, age and descendant is:

1. Confidence at religion
2. Ethic/moral
3. Education
4. Skilled of woman
5. Emotional maturity
6. Wisdom

For man which must be paid attention is:

1. Confidence at religion
2. Ethic/moral
3. Education
4. Work
5. Responsibility
6. Wisdom

Confidence at religion : Be better if wife husband has the same confidence, mean same - same believed in Buddha. After both believing in Buddha hence as proper his(its both comprehending and executes teaching of the Buddha in life one day - day and happy life.

Ethic/moral : Ethic/moral must become main attention, because without good morale of the man car supposing without brake ( uncontrollably ). Ethic/moral cannot be formed in one or two day, but is cumulative development of itself man. Morale would easily destroy because greed, dislike, and stupidity, however present era of a lot praises them rich, he/she said " Greedy is Good"

Education : This time is better if formal education is made inner measure to look for life couple, caused by education difference which too far will influence harmonious of itself wife husband.


Skilled of woman ( woman) : a woman must be clever manages household before entering marriage ladder. For example; woman should be able to manage house, ripe, shopping to market, arranges money, including becoming good mother.

Emotional maturity ( woman) : This thing shows level of adulthood a woman. a immature woman will claim excessive attention from its(the husband, spoiled, thin-skinned, headstrong, egoist, etc. a matured woman of its(the emotion would more patient, work more hard in facing emerging household problem.

Work ( man) : Work is a real part necessary for man - man. a woman will not will married with man who don’t have a job. Of course era now quite a few working woman, but natural of man is earn life for its the family.

Responsibility ( man) : This thing is personality of someone men. Responsibility is thing needed to takes care of harmonious of household, especially man responsibility - man as a family head.

Wisdom : Really business - be really to had wisdom in life this is very profits life hereinafter in this and in the future. By having wisdom hence all decisions taken not because of like/not to like, not because of following - join with others, but because good to all party(sides in now and also a period of which will come.

Why should dating of vital importance as gestation period. Why should usable dating as orientation week or a period of character hawker together couple. Every man has different personality pattern, and personality is not guaranteed of the someone fits in with personality of someone who selected it as life couple, therefore a period of dating of vital importance.

2.1.4 According To Hinduism

Before bearing it Law No. 1 The year 1974, all marriages done by public believing in Hindu, based to customary law applied in an custom public area. And partly again are based to Hinduism law. With reference to itself religion law problem has not many recognized by public.

For Hindu public, the problem of marriage has special meaning and position in their life world. Marriage term as there is in various arts and Hindu law book ( Smriti), recognized by the name of wiwaha. Regulations arranging the marriage manager is regulations becoming source of guidance in continuing construction of Hinduism law in marriage area.

Based on book Manusmriti, marriage haves the character of religion and obligator because related to obligation of someone to have descendant and redeem old fellow sins by reducing a " son" is meaning " s(he saving its(the old fellow late from hell Put".

Even is affirmed farther in Adhyaya IX25 that with the marriage institute meant to arrange coitus that is competent, that is a biological relationship required in life of someone as wife husband.

Ceremony wiwaha ( marriage) be a samskara ( sacrament) what causes position of institute as institute that is is not separated from religion law. And its(the conditions is also must be fulfilled according to rule of law Agama ( dharma). From tens of type samskara so-called in so many holy book of Hinduism, wiwaha samskara is form of samskara put down between sequence name of samskara.


In consequence it can be interpreted that wiwaha samskara is obliged to punish it. Side samskara character as a law, hence wiwaha samskara is ceremony ritual ( agamas) and formal to be able to be confirmed according to religion teaching.

Wiwaha as samskara is a ritual is giving position of validity is not his(its a marriage according to Hindu law. According to teaching Manusmriti, a marriage that is not is sacral assumed not to have legal consequences to the marriage. As for about his own ritual, its(the laxative agent is also must according. If(when that thing doesn't pursuant to can generate its(the cancellation marriage.

In consequence of existence of rule Section 2 ( 1) Law No. 1/1974 where it is affirmed that a marriage is validity if done according to law each its(the religion and the trust, hence its(the validity marriage of Hindu must according to Hinduism.

In Hindu public there are some ways which can be done for marriage. That is way of mepadik ( proposes marriage to or asks), ngerorod or rangkat which also in mentioning way of selarian ( all run based on love), nyentana ( that is the man who " taken" by the woman and lives in house the woman), nyeburin ( that is the woman).

comes x'self to house the man, without requesting permit its(the old fellow), ngunggahin ( this one of form of separate development from way of nyeburin), melegandang ( makes off with woman forcibly). Both this last forms unable to get appreciation so that seldom be met in practice. Even way of melegandang is acting is criminal and can be menaced crime because a form of marriage done by force without approval of its(the wife candidate and also old fellow. This form of the same to rape, because cannot be ratified in marriage.

22 Marriage Reality

* Islam Opinion? Sight


To show marriage meaning. Alquran uses term " Mitsagon gholidon" is meaning " Unshakeable agreement". This first term - tama refers to agreement between God and the prophets or the its(the rasul in letter Al Ahzab sentence 7, which says : " And ( remembers) when we take agreement from prophet - prophet and out of you ( x'self), from Nuh, Ibrahim, Mozes and Jesus son of Maryam, and we have taken away from unshakeable agreement them". As well as [is] on letter Al Baqarah sentence 83 which says : And ( remembers), when we take promise from Bani Israel ( that is) : You doesn't curtsey besides God… then you doesn't fulfill promise that, except partly small from your, and you looking away. But in letter An Nisaa sentence 21, the term simply refers to agreement to marry : " And they ( wife - your wife) has taken away from unshakeable agreement you".

Based on term " Mitsagon Gholidon", indirectly this thing shows chastity relation between husband and wife, looks like chastity relation between God and man who selected it. In consequence it is not a wonder that marriage seen as duty from God and childs of also seen as one of presentation of from thank God for husband - wife.


Alqur'an also sees marriage as reciprocal agreement, what generates rights - rights and obligations - obligation at husband and wife. According to letter An Nisaa sentence 34 which says : " The man - man is leader for womankind, because of God has exaggerated some of they ( man - man) for some other ( woman) and because they ( man - man) maintenance has some of their possession. Because that the pious woman is obeying to God and looks after x'self at the opposite of latter of its(the husband.

Prophet Muhammad underlines connubial Alqur'an opinion? sight like called as to be above. Ath Thabrani notes that prophet Muhammad calls marriage as " semi observance". Marriage is not an earthly case as of eye - eye, but a reality that is also concerning God. In consequence, like noted by Ahmad, he(she also prays at celebration to marry a Moslem, requests that God to have the pleasure to bless and unites both of them.


Prophet Muhammad suggests believer for having family. According to note of Moslem, he(she disagree if(when celibate Islam believer. They trying to celibate, he(she is conceived " non our believer". To strengthen the fomentation, he(she shows how prophet - big prophet also married and have children.

Besides religion meaning, prophet Muhammad also affirms social meaning from marriage. According to note of Ahmad, he(she refuses nuptials to hide - hides and commands that people - people Moslem married openly before less - lack of 2 man eyewitness and announces it at multitude audience. According to prophet Muhammad, marriage hides - hides considered to be [by] relationship that is illegal and haves the bad character.

As according to teaching Alqur'an, prophet Muhammad asserts that husband must become good leader and family head is holding responsible, for example is in control of maintenance for wife and chlid - its(the child. This thing noted by Moslem, David Ash, and Ibnu Hibban. Meanwhile judge writes prophet command Muhammad to the wives that they are obedient and pious life at husband, in such a way that their happy husband and full of mercy.

* Catholic Opinion? Sight

In old testament at chapter case I, that it is depicted that likely - process man and woman firstly created by God with word as of eye - eye. Both then is blessed it and given job to bear grandchild and looks after world. The picture lays open about its(the writer opinion? sight about marriage prestige. agreement book of Chapter 2 serves other picture. Woman firstly is told likely - process made of first man rib. Then, God presents the woman becomes commensurable benefactor, even becomes wife for the man. Happily; gladly man firstly receives God present, its(the creator, then consisted with its(the wife. Tightly association between first husbands and wife of that is described with beautiful expression : " Both becoming 1 flesh. They is both naked, man and the wife, but they don't feel small".

23 Purpose Of Marriage
24 Character - marriage character
25 Conjugal right

Chapter III

Problem Of Marriage


31 Polygamous and polyandry
32 Divorce

Lately a lot of case - divorce case in our Negara, a lot of artist - artist as well as marrying public public divorces. Actually divorce is disconnection of tying marries judicially ( validity ), be deviation from intention of God ( a hateful thing of God ), is not contributed Bible except in certain condition boundaries. Divorce is as result of sin of from one or the husband/wife spouse both parties.

As for the cause of divorce of inter alia wife husband, as follows :

- Failure in managing household
- Dating with the other ( The relation of dark )
- Action bad from husband
- Incompatible taste one another
- Marriage of young age
- Inexistence of descendant of in a marriage
- Economic

Failure in managing household is one of divorce cause, The thing is caused [by] the husband/wife spouse has workload x'self causing had no time for family and children.

Dating with the other or existence of third party is divorce cause which many happened. The couples dissatisfy to its the couple and tries looks for others by stealth - hides.

There is also deed bad from the husband which frequently maltreats the wife by the way of beating, tortures, etc. In-un same in a family also can cause divorce, The thing possibly is caused lack of orientation week between couple before married.

Marriage of young age many happened in our Negara. But usually the nuptials don't go along way, because between individual still wish to enjoy its the freedom.

Existence of not of descendant can also causes divorce, Caused by child of considered to be [by] family router. Though there are not of descendant of depended from God.

Economic problem also is divorce cause. In life in present era of man cannot quit of economics problem. Money required in constructing a household, like: for life one day - day, for expense of schoolchild, cost - other cost (electrics, telephone, etc)

Of course for husband/wife spouse which divorced not to generate a big problem. Man who divorced to become widower, and woman becomes widow, But for children which they depart from hardly suffers. They [shall] no longer get affection from both its(the old fellows. So in divorce, becoming victim is children

33 Dating with the other
34 Intermarry

In Indonesia, intermarry term can mean :


- Marriage between 2 man which in Indonesia subjugated to hokum which is different, because civic difference and one of the parties is having civic Indonesia ( marriage Law of 1974 section 57)
- Marriage between 2 Christian(s) and non Christian, bdk. marriage Law of 1974 section 66 mentioning Ordinance Perkawinan Indonesia Kristen ( Huwelijksordonantie Christen Indonesia’s S1933 no 74, Regulation of Marriage of Mixture), bdk. Regeling op de gemengde huwelijken S. 1898 no 158
- Marriage between people baptized to be catholic and baptized [by] catholic xenon Christian